One of the most alluring aspects of wine is the un-ending opportunity for learning it provides the eternally curious. An entire lifetime could be dedicated just to exploring its history. Another is needed to learn how to tweak a particular terroir to its best expression, and another just to keep up with developments in production. That's three lifetimes right there, and we have yet to put glass to lip, which is really what it's all about, after all.
For centuries, the pursuit of wine knowledge and experiences have attracted the curious and the sensual (and, unfortunately, the insufferable wine snob which we'll leave for other discussions). We all know people who follow this path, people who get visibly excited when expressing their knowledge or opinion about wine. They are most assuredly wine Geeks. But it's always easier to spot such characteristics in others while remaining blind to them in ourselves. Here's how to tell if you're one of them too...
Top Ten Signs You're a Wine Geek
- You read wine blogs. (Actually, the list could end right here!)
- You laughed when Miles said "If anybody orders Merlot, I'm leaving!", then mentioned his prize bottle was the famous merlot blend, Cheval Blanc
- When holding a goblet of water, you absent-mindedly twirl it by its stem (this "Tasters Twitch" is a condition common among wine Geeks, for which there is no cure)
- You have a strong (and unquestionably correct) opinion about point-based rating systems and what they are doing to the wine industry
- You have emptied one or more bottles of Wine-Away (perhaps needed after your group got a little giddy and somene laughed wine through their nose)
- You know who these people are: Marvin Shanken (1 point); Anthony Dias Blue (2 points); Peter Granoff (4 points) and have strong opinions about their approach to wine
- You have more t-shirts with wine logos than t-shirts with team or school logos
- You get more upset by the loss of spilled wine than the tablecloth stain it caused
- You remember your ex lovers by their favorite wine
- You see nothing unusual about using your toilet tank to store "just one more bottle of wine" at near-perfect serving temperature
Scoring
I really should point out that, if you answered "yes" to any of these questions, the rest of the world thinks you're pretty much a wine geek. But in any subculture, there are relative levels of status - the pecking order, if you will. So here's my totally arbitrary system for establishing the wine geek pecking order. Scoring one point for each "yes" answer, plus the 7 possible points in question #6, there are a total of 16 possible points.
(1-4 points) The Wanna-Be Wine Geek - You likely have a well-balanced life with interests other than wine. Keep reading this blog and in six weeks I'll bet you'll matriculate to..
(5-8 points) The Intermediate Wine Geek - Wine is likely a growing interest. Your face is likely recognized at all the local wine bars.
(9- 12 points) The Advanced Wine Geek - People know you're a wine geek within minutes after first meeting you. It is part of your normal conversation. You may not know it yet, but your local wine bar refers to your favorite seat by your nickname.
(13+ points) The Alpha Wine Geek - I wanna share a bottle with you sometime - you're my idea of good company!
Cheers!
Dave Chambers
SidewaysWineClub.com
Quote of the Day:
"So why is it I find myself drawn more to the notion of a geek than, let’s say, a snob or an aficionado? Or how about an observer or a spectator, while we’re at it?..."
Scott Frank, Wine Steward and contributor to www.WineGeeks.com